Cuddling Up to Chaos: Surviving Digital Transformation with ACT

Whether a CRM, e-commerce integration, ERP or other digital transformation (DT) that will forever reinvent a business, implementations are rarely just technical. They are emotional triathlons, leadership tightropes, and operational minefields. (Cue collective sigh)

Leaders expect all the heavy lifting it takes to reinvent the business, but don’t always anticipate just how much psychological chaos it brings. Smart, capable professionals who are brilliantly resilient can find themselves cracking under the weight of such massive change. The pace is brutal, the ambiguity endless, and the expectations overwhelming. Confident leaders are then wondering how to lead through this without burning out or burning bridges, all while burning the midnight oil.

At some point you can’t duct tape your way to further greatness. Big goals usually create even bigger chaos despite precision planning and the tightest team.

So what? That's it? Just accept that the drama comes with the territory? (Well sort of, but with a new character that can alter the plot for the better.)

In Comes Acceptance and Commitment Therapy/Training (ACT)

Originally a clinical tool, ACT offers beautifully simple strategies for anyone navigating grueling high-stakes projects. Let’s explore how it can help you lead yourself and others, anchored by your values (instead of your anxiety) during digital transformation chaos.

Organizations, like people, are nuanced, messy, and don’t excel by becoming rigid. Findings published in the The Leadership Quarterly (Uhl-Bien & Arena, 2018) suggest that thriving in complex systems requires holding a flexible space, where creativity, tension, and disruption can co-exist. (I like to imagine them hanging out together, chewing gum, and blowing bubbles.)

Too much predictability? Zzzzz

Too much change? Snarky Teams chats and late-night calls to the company-sponsored Employee Assistance Program.

Control Freak: The Limits of Knee-Jerk Leadership

In the swirl of mayhem and uncertainty, one’s leadership can devolve into micromanagement, over-planning, or sending dozens of contradictory emails.

This is expected. Our brains are hard-wired to seek control during turbulence. But in complex projects like these, it can be counterproductive. Trying to control everything often leads to burnout, decision paralysis, or worse—creating a false sense of order that easily crumbles.

**Spoiler alert** Control is often just fear wearing a costume. And fear, if left unchecked, can result in some bad improv.

Introducing ACT: Turmoil’s Wise Auntie

If you’ve ever been in counseling, you may have unknowingly been the subject of ACT, short for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It’s the psychological equivalent of changing into stretchy pants then facing reality. Developed by Steven Hayes and further validated through endless research, ACT helps people relate differently to their thoughts and feelings. Especially the yucky ones. And while we aren't exploring therapy here, the "T" of ACT can easily be swapped for "Training", applying ACT principles on our own in a work context instead of while lying back on a sofa.

ACT isn’t about extinguishing the on-stage dumpster fire. It’s about moving from the front-row orchestra seats up to the balcony so you can see the flames from a different angle. Its core idea is that psychological flexibility (the ability to stay present and aligned with your values) even in the face of a hot mess, is more useful than your illusion of control.

As my late mother-in-law Marilyn used to say, “Get real!”, (punctuated by a slow snicker.)

Six Core Processes in ACT

Acceptance – Make space for discomfort instead of fighting it. (Staying in your seat during a triggering scene.)

Defusion – Step back from thoughts instead of getting tangled in them. (Realizing the actor isn’t the character.)

Present Moment Awareness – Ground yourself in the "now" rather than time-traveling to worst-case futures. (Hear the applause, notice the color of the stage lights, smell the cologne of whomever sat in front of you.)

Self-as-Context – You aren’t your thoughts and feelings. You are the container that holds them. (The theater stays put. Shows come and go.)

Values Clarification – Identify what truly matters to you when the poo is flying. (Why you bought the ticket in the first place.)

Committed Action – Take steps aligned with those values, even when it’s hard. (Join the standing ovation rather than rushing to catch your ride.)

These principles are increasingly being applied to leadership contexts. Research published in Clinical Psychology Review (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010) links psychological flexibility to improved emotional regulation, creativity, and resilience—all sharp tools when leading change.

Applying ACT Principles to the Chaos of a Digital Transformation Project

Let’s set the stage. You are part of a cross-functional team leading a typical digital transformation project. Deadlines are looming. Sprints are slipping. Finance is anxiously analyzing spreadsheets. IT is short on resources. Trainers are trying to design a curriculum for content in flux. This is not a drill.

Here’s how ACT can ground you in the middle of this firestorm:

Acceptance

Lean Into what’s messy. Resistance from users, unanticipated error messages, strained vendor relationships—all par for the course. ACT invites leaders to follow my late mom-in-law Marilyn’s “Get real” advice. “This is happening. And it’s uncomfortable. But I don’t need to fight it or pretend it’s not.” Acceptance isn't resignation—it’s realism. A study by Gloster et al. (2020) in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science showed that Acceptance-based approaches reduce stress and increase goal-directed behavior under pressure. So "get real!"

Defusion

Don’t believe everything you think. During transformation chaos, your brain will say unhelpful things: “I’m stuck,” “This is a disaster,” “We’ll never recover.” ACT teaches us to treat these thoughts as just that—thoughts. Try this: instead of thinking, “This will ruin my credibility,” reframe it as, “I’m having the thought that this will ruin my credibility.” It’s a subtle shift, but it creates distance. (Get up in the balcony.) Defusion has been shown to increase your brain’s ability to quickly shift gears, respond (instead of just react), and reduce anxiety (Levin et al., 2014, Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science).

Present Moment Awareness

Be in the moment. My dad once brought headphones to a live outdoor rock concert hoping to keep up with a Phoenix Suns game from his phone. Digital transformation projects are like juggling flaming chainsaws. Staying present helps. Instead of catastrophizing about the next three milestones, focus on what’s in front of you. Inhale. Exhale. Answer the one email that matters most now. Light a rosemary-scented candle if you must, but mindfulness doesn’t require chanting or a yoga mat. It can be as simple as a quiet 60-second internal check-in before each stakeholder meeting. Even brief mindfulness practices improve decision-making under stress.

Self-as-Context

You are not your job title or your Inbox. When chaos hits, it’s easy to become fused with your identity as “Leader-Who-Must-Not-Fail.” ACT reminds us that we are something far more than our roles or our worst moments. This perspective clears room for being human and perspective-taking, which are crucial when navigating team tensions and stakeholder demands.

Values Clarification

Here’s the heart of ACT. In the middle of digital transformation mayhem, ask: “What matters to me as a leader right now?” Is it transparency? Kindness? Resilience? Empathy?

A values-aligned leader might say, “Even if this rollout is rough, I want my team to feel supported and informed.” Then you bolster your people and dial up communication. ACT research consistently finds that values clarification increases motivation, persistence, and satisfaction (Williams et al., 2015, Journal of Positive Psychology).

Committed Action: Move Toward What Matters

This is where ideas take shape. ACT isn’t sitting in the grass, twirling its hair, pondering the meaning of it all. ACT is literally about ACTION. What’s one meaningful action you can take today? Maybe it’s challenging the need for a redundant status meeting. Maybe it’s acknowledging your team’s hard work in the face of uncertainty. Maybe it’s extra cuddles with your Lhasa Apso. The key is to act in service of your values, especially when doing so is extra hard.

Leading by Example: ACT is Contagious

The bonus of ACT is that it’s not just for you.

When you model psychological gear shifting, your team takes notice. They learn that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and still take meaningful action. Leaders who practice mindfulness and acceptance significantly increase team trust and psychological safety.

Chaos doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It means you’re doing something ambitious. Digital transformations, cultural pivots, strategy shifts—these are inherently messy endeavors. Carefully laid plans often go sideways. We can’t prevent this, but we can alter how we relate to it.

The turmoil in digital transformation isn’t a flaw—it’s pudding proof of the complex transformation. How you show up inside that turmoil defines your leadership.

Pause, breathe, update your ServiceNow incidents or your Jira tickets, and enjoy the show. All shows, even Wagner's 5-plus hour bathroom-blocking opera Parsifal, come to an end.

About Joel Dietz

Joel is a corporate leadership development and coaching practitioner in the energy industry. He partners with professionals and executives on career transitions, leadership growth, and retirement readiness—helping clients build meaningful next chapters with clarity and purpose.

• Focus areas: career transitions, executive and leadership development, retirement coaching, culture and organizational development

• Formats: individual coaching, group coaching

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